By Guest Blogger: Laurie
I’m an adoptee and apparently that means that I’m supposed to be mad as hell, poorly adjusted, have low self-esteem and be unable to build or maintain meaningful relationships!
Well enough already. I can speak for myself. I know how I feel and I don’t need to be told how I should feel or what my life and relationships will be like because I’m adopted. Everyone that’s been adopted will have a different experience. Some will be positive ones and some will not. Some will be tolerable and some will be awful. I am not downplaying or minimizing anyone’s experience but this is my life journey, mine and I resent anyone telling me what it should be or has been. My family was not perfect but that’s the case with most families. Adoption is not unique in that. My parents are the ones who took care of me, raised me to be the person I am today, who know my story from the beginning, who share a history with me and who were there for me when I needed a family.
The mother who gave birth to me did not forget me or cease to feel the emotions of motherhood but as an adoptee my experience was different. I called someone else mother, a woman who was present and mothering. The mother who had given birth to me was absent.
I have had in my life two mothers and two fathers. One mother and father are my parents because they raised me, my other mother and father are my parents even though they didn’t. I know some won’t understand or agree with me but that’s my reality and only I get to define what family means to me.